"Oh, no"
"N-n-n-no"
"Please, no song"
"I′ll do anything"
"Guys, we're actually in the middle of something"

You can′t plow a field without hitting some stones
Every steak's bound to have some fat
You can't eat a fish without getting some bones
And you can′t have love without having a lovers′ spat

"Would you leave us alone for just a minute?"
"Seriously, please?"

First she says something bound to get his gander
Then he says something mean to get her back
Then she complains that he don't understand her
And then he gives her a smack

"No!"
"Oh no, that′s not okay"
"Unless it's consensual"

It′s just a love, love, lovers' spat
Just ′cause you're feudin' don′t mean that you′re concludin'
It′s as plain, plain, plain as that
It's only a lovers′ spat

First he says:
"Yeah, I'm not, I′m not doing this"
Then she says:
"Oh, what a surprise"
"You don't want to talk about it"
Then he says:
"Uhm, what is that supposed to mean?"
Then she says:
"It's not supposed to mean anything"
"I said what I meant"
Then he says:
"I can′t do this with all these people around"
Then she says:
"Oh, you can′t do this, period"
Every gal and feller are bound to have a yeller

"We have to get out of here"
"Yeah, yeah..."

Eve and Adam frolicked in the garden
Living there was such a sweet delight
Till Adam, he said, "Madam, beg your pardon?"
"But my apple's missing a bite"

They had a love, love, lovers′ spat
Just 'cause you′re wranglin' don′t that you're untanglin'
It′s as plain, plain, plain as that
It′s only a lovers' spat

First she says:
"So what′s the plan, Josh?"
"Look for someone new?"
Then he says:
"I'm not having a discussion that′s part of a musical number"
Then she says:
"Why won't you just answer the question?"
Then he says:
"Fine! Yes!"
"If it′s a way to get out of here"
Then she says:
"I knew it"
"I knew it!"
Then he says:
"AAAAARGH!"

It's just a lovers' spat
Just ′cause you bicker don′t mean that you'll end quicker
It′s as plain, plain, plain as that
It's only a lovers′ spat

When he puts her on the spot and she spits out of spite
They're a kettle and a pot both convinced they′re right
And they think it's all for naught then they kiss good night

"It's over"
"Mel—"
"No! I mean it"
"We′re officially broken up now"
"You′re free to find true love with whoever you want"
"'Cause this is it"
"The end"
"And you suck"
"And I hate you"
"And I hope you die"
"Mel"
"Stop saying Mel"
"You sound like a freaking idiot"

That′s how you end a lovers'
How you end a lovers′
Spat

Published:

28 December, 2021